Circumvented Identity

Last week I posted something that I called Circumvent Identity Formation – check it here.  One of my friends read it, and it started a thread of emails processing through their identity formation and their process.  I wanted to share their response to the post.  I share it hoping that others would connect with it.  They were able to put into words what happened to them and process through their experience.

Here are some of the ideas:

“Ok so alot of what you said rings so true to me that it’s almost painful. And then there’s other stuff that still feels like a contradiction in some way — or maybe its not as much a contradiction as it is empty? Not sure how to explain that just yet.”

I then asked what was painful and the response was:

“so you asked me what was the painful stuff….
  • the freedom to express and create advances identity formation and growth and development.  rushing people through it by performing and faking it – retards formation and development.
  • earlier in life – you’re young enough and idealistic enough to bounce back quickly.
  • religion is impersonal and it’s about standardization – everyone looking the same.
  • cutting of the process at any point by superimposing your will on someone else kills growth and ultimately “kill” the person.
  • but you can create that environment for growth and learning by allowing them to create and construct a new identity.  you can do that for your kids.  you have done that for yourself.

that’s the stuff that rang so true to me that it hurts. maybe it’s painful because i’m only beginning to sort thru and find my way…maybe part of me hoped it wasn’t true and in reading it like that, any denial that was lingering was forced out…regardless of the pain tho, having it put into words feels like finally being able to take in a breath — relieving and empowering.”

Can you identify with my friend?  Can you see how your identity formation was short-circuited?  Blocked?  Circumvented?

Internet Hot

Someone did a search today for “Internet Hotness Conversion Factor.”  The reason that I know that is that they did a search for that phrase and found my blog post entitled Internet Hotness Conversion Factor – check it.  It’s not an amazing post, but what trips me out more than someone searching for it is that I have a post by that title.

In checking it out, I came across this.  Internet Hot.  Once again, surprised to find it, but even more surprised to find it in a dictionary.  Here’s the entry:

Used as an adjective: When someone (particularly a picture of someone on the Internet) has a hotness level inversely proportional to the skill level in photoshop it would take to make an average person reach that level of hotness. This is best used for profiles on dating sites where the person has had ‘professional’ photos made for their profile.

Here’s the url.