The Right Rate of Acceptability

This is in reference to any change that you want to make in life.  Whether you want to change yourself or help someone change, you have to do so at the right rate of acceptability.  You can’t force yourself or someone else to change outside of what you or they are willing to accept.  Make suggestions and give advice – only as far as their willingness to accept it.

If you want to change yourself or help someone change – figure out the right rate of acceptability.  Figure out how much they can handle – even if the rate of acceptability is minuscule, that would be the right rate.

You Want to Change the World

….then learn how to change yourself. Actually, learn how to change something – anything. But why not start with yourself. If you can’t change yourself – the one thing that you have control over – how in the world are you going to change something – anything.

Here’s the lesson: if you want to change the world, start with yourself.

Predisposed to Problems

One of the ideas that Chip and Dan Heath wrote about in Switch was this idea that we as people are predisposed to problems.  We automatically think about problems. On Monday after the football game, we will talk about the loss and all of the missed field goals by Nate Keading.  It’s natural to talk about all of the bad things that happened.  Even when your team wins, people still focus on what they should have done.

Our analytical tendencies draw us to think of the negative right away – to think of all of the problems.  One of the fundamental ways to make change is to use our analytical tendencies to focus – not on the problems, but on the positives.  Focus on the good things that have happen and continue to happen.

Technology Doesn’t Change You

I have been thinking about this since I saw a tweet about a week ago. Someone had tweeted – what the latest movies say about who we have become. They suggested that we have become more “escapist” as people. As if movies like Avatar make us want to live different lives than we do. Second Life has been around for years now. It’s not like any of this is new. People have been writing stories about other worlds and realities for years – Lord of the Rings and Narnia come to mind.

The technology hasn’t created something new in us as people, it has just given it a channel and a voice. People haven’t changed, but the way your express your desires in these new digital channels have. What used to be private is no longer. Technology doesn’t change you; it gives you a new way to channel what is and was already there.