This morning, I had the privilege of giving a talk at the college that I teach at. I normally turn down the local speaking gigs. I mean, I teach there so it’s not like people haven’t heard me. Sometimes I … Continue reading
The Power of a Friend
Tag Archives: friend
Knowing Your Heart
Ok. I’m not thinking about the feelings and emotional part of the heart. I went on a mtn. bike ride with my good friend Bill. He wears a heart monitor when he goes on a ride. He keeps an eye … Continue reading
Notice Things
I was talking with a friend of mine who is also a blogger – you have to check out his ideas at thechristiannerd.com. We were watching a performance, and there was a random comment made by one of the announcers. … Continue reading
Nuance and Old Age
nu·ance (n
äns
, ny-, n-äns, ny-)
n.
1. A subtle or slight degree of difference, as in meaning, feeling, or tone; a gradation.
2. Expression or appreciation of subtle shades of meaning, feeling, or tone
I spent some time with a friend of mine today. I was gonna say that he was an old guy – which he wouldn’t like – so he’ll just be a friend that I really look up to (I’ll tag his name).
With age comes experience and expertise. It’s great to be able to lean on someone that has more “age” than you do. Ask them questions. No matter what you’re processing through, they will be able to give you nuance – on whatever questions or issues you might have.
It goes together – nuance and old age.
Inspiring Conversation
Have you ever had a conversation with someone that just so inspired you to do things that you’ve never thought possible? You know what I’m talking about – a conversation that challenges you to think about yourself in a new … Continue reading
Circumvented Identity
Last week I posted something that I called Circumvent Identity Formation – check it here. One of my friends read it, and it started a thread of emails processing through their identity formation and their process. I wanted to share their response to the post. I share it hoping that others would connect with it. They were able to put into words what happened to them and process through their experience.
Here are some of the ideas:
“Ok so alot of what you said rings so true to me that it’s almost painful. And then there’s other stuff that still feels like a contradiction in some way — or maybe its not as much a contradiction as it is empty? Not sure how to explain that just yet.”
I then asked what was painful and the response was:
“so you asked me what was the painful stuff….
- the freedom to express and create advances identity formation and growth and development. rushing people through it by performing and faking it – retards formation and development.
- earlier in life – you’re young enough and idealistic enough to bounce back quickly.
- religion is impersonal and it’s about standardization – everyone looking the same.
- cutting of the process at any point by superimposing your will on someone else kills growth and ultimately “kill” the person.
- but you can create that environment for growth and learning by allowing them to create and construct a new identity. you can do that for your kids. you have done that for yourself.
that’s the stuff that rang so true to me that it hurts. maybe it’s painful because i’m only beginning to sort thru and find my way…maybe part of me hoped it wasn’t true and in reading it like that, any denial that was lingering was forced out…regardless of the pain tho, having it put into words feels like finally being able to take in a breath — relieving and empowering.”
Can you identify with my friend? Can you see how your identity formation was short-circuited? Blocked? Circumvented?
InterculturalistIQ.com
A few weeks ago, I posted about my friend Scott Reitz. It was a post entitled Smell Like Jesus. I had been talking to him about his ideas and setting up a blog. Please check it out. Here’s the shortcut for you lazy people that can’t type it in http://interculturalistiq.com.
Scott has got a ton of experience in world work – how else can I describe it? He loves people. He’s done stuff with NGO’s and non-profits. He’s been all over the world. I heard someone describe Scott as having had – way to many stories about almost dying – for his age.
Give him some love and check it out.
Sidenote: I helped him set it up. If you need help setting a blog up-let me know.
Friends and Followers
The whole social media space is changing the way that we see friends and followers. It provides a much fuller perspective or a more shallow perspective. I guess it depends on where you begin.
My “friends” are people that I know. I know all of my friends on Facebook. Some I know better than others, but I know them all. I have had classes with them or they were in my class. I have either shook their hand and have had eye contact with most of them. I do have some “friends” online that are my cousins – who live in Saudi Arabia that I know but have never met. They’re family – they’re stuck with me.
I don’t know that I have any “followers” in real life. I have followers on Twitter. Many of them I don’t know. I follow many people – that I don’t know. Twitter allows me the opportunity to follow and be followed with and by people that I have never had eye contact with or shook their hand.
I initially think that “follower” is this deep connection with a leader. The idea of follower as disciple is my first inclination, but the social space allows us to “follow” people that are leading – but that we don’t know at all. You can choose to follow anyone. You can choose to un-follow at any time. This idea of following on Twitter though is a much looser enterprise than discipleship.
Friend me on http://www.facebook.com/lemusita – but only after a handshake or eye contact.
Follow me on http://www.twitter.com/lemness – and we’ll shake hands later.
