…..is not something that can be easily done. We easily assume that seeing another is something that we can all do, but I don’t think you can necessarily see another until you have an established and mature sense of identity and self.

I was working on a writing project – using some of the foundational ideas from my research for this project. As I was processing some ideas – it dawned on me that identity and development of “self “helps one to differentiate “self” from “other.” Only a matured identity can truly see “other.” Seeing “others” is not a natural or normal thing.

We assume that we can see “others.” We assume that if someone does not see “others” – that they are being selfish, but it dawned on me that it’s not a selfish act – because they haven’t quite developed a mature sense of “self” that allows them to see beyond themselves. An undeveloped sense of “self” cannot see “other.” It looks selfish, but it’s just the inability to differentiate “self” from “other.”

So it’s not just teaching someone to see “other.” They need to be established in their “self” and their identity in order to see “other.” So it’s also teaching someone to see themselves. It’s also teaching someone to develop their identity. It’s teaching “self” in order to teach them how to see “other.”

At least – that’s what the developmental theories say.