Free Resource — Companion to the Book
Formation Starts With You
A parent reflection worksheet for anyone who wants to understand their teenager’s identity formation — and their own.
This worksheet is not about your teenager. Not yet.
Every chapter of Formation: The Self That Performance Cannot Build is, in some way, a mirror. The framework describes teenagers — but the parent reading it is never a neutral observer. You bring your own formation history into every conversation, every reaction, every moment of connection or disconnection with your child.
This worksheet gives you space to do that work honestly. Eleven questions. Four sections. No right answers — only what is true.
Formation is always in process. So are you.
What’s Inside
Your early history — Who formed you? Did you have space to explore, or was the path mostly set? Where would you honestly place yourself on the identity matrix right now?
The early years with your child — What did your child learn about whether their emotions were welcome? Is there a pattern in your teenager now that echoes something established early?
The current season — What does your own formation need right now — not as a parent, but as a person? What might your teenager’s behavior be triggering in your unresolved story?
Your formation community — Who tells you the truth about yourself? Does your teenager have people in their life, beyond you, who know them and speak into who they are becoming?
Who This Is For
This worksheet is designed for parents who have engaged with the formation framework and want to take the next step — moving from understanding the four identity statuses to applying that lens to their own life and history.
You can use it alone, with a spouse or co-parent, or as a discussion tool in a small group or parenting class. There are writing lines throughout for reflection and space to return to it over time.
Want to go deeper? Take the Identity Formation Assessment or explore parent coaching at identityspecialist.net.
