There are core identity features that you just cannot control.

– What family you were born into.

– Whether you were the youngest or the oldest.

– The fact that you had to take care of your siblings – so you are now a nurturer.

There’s tons of them.  And even though you can’t control them, it is still so hard to not want to.  I started writing this post with the idea that since you can’t control it – why worry about it.  Instead though, I want to point out that the identity features that you can’t control might be the ones that bothers you the most.   It might just be a built in feature – so I give you permission to both accept it and deal with it.