I am listening to a song that has to do with someone finding their identity in something that they don’t have. One of the lines is “holding on to what I haven’t got.” It sounds like it’s some failed relationship, but it’s pretty painful sounding.
It is possible to identify with something that is not ours. It is a wishing. It wanting something. Holding on to what I haven’t got.
On the one hand, it’s pushes you to strive. It can be great intrinsic motivation to identify with something that you can strive for. It is a goal. It pushes us forward.
On the other hand, it’s a miserable existence to desire that thing that you just can’t have. It’s hard though because sometimes it just feels so right. It’s hard because we might want it so much. We can’t help it because we want it so badly.
When identifying with something that we haven’t got, there’s a thin line between striving and insanity. I hope you get it or get over it – either way – it defines your identity.