I have a few friends that will make requests for certain blog post.  It’s always quite helpful, and challenges me to formulate a perspective on whatever it is they might want my perspective one.  The latest one comes from one of my buddies – Scott – check out his blog InterculturalistIQ.com.  He asked for a post on Incompatible Identities.

My initial thought was there is no such thing as an Incompatible Identities, but there is such a thing as people that choose to not be compatible with other identities.  Then the development perspective came into play.  I think the theories would say that if you can only relate to people from where you are at developmentally.  One identity formation theory says that you move through identity statuses, and that you are identity achieved when you have explored and made commitments to identities.  Someone that is not identity achieved is not mature enough to realize that there is no such thing as an Incompatible Identity.  For someone that is not identity achieved, Incompatible Identities would be real for them because their identities would allow for it.

The identity achieved would be the mature individual that would not necessarily see Incompatible Identities.  I think that the identity achieved person would be accepting and respected enough that they would have an identity that would be compatible with everyone.

The thing about identity is that the way you act and behave says so much about your identity.  If you have Incompatible Identities in your life, that says more about you than the other people.

What do you think?  Do you think we can choose whether identities are incompatible or not?  Is it more about who we are then who they are?