When you think about identity, you end up thinking about what it is or who it is that you are trying to become. What you do and what you think – you become.
It is a natural thing to retaliate. It is the first place that you go to in your mind space when someone attacks you and hurts you in some way. It’s natural. It’s quite normal. It’s just what happens when you it happens to you or someone that you love.
But when you retaliate, you become just like the people that first attacked or hurt you. You become just like them when you retaliate.
It leads to this vicious cycle of retaliation that does not ever end, and it leads to an ethic that says when I get more powerful than you or when I get my opportunity, I will hurt you just like you hurt me. And on. And on. And on. And on.
When you retaliate, you become like them. When you retaliate, you are stuck in this pattern. When you retaliate, you’re not better than they are, and that is definitely an identity that you want to stay away from.