Painful Memories

Memories are a wonderful thing. Sometimes though memories can be so bad that we don’t pay any attention to them.  I’ve been reading about memories.  I have a few posts coming up about memories.  It’s really a fascinating thing.  I wonder if there are any studies out there that have to do how memories shape identity.  Please let me know if you know of any.

The memories that you pay attention to shape your identity.  As you think about them and recall them, they start to shape you perspectives.  Since typically they’re a lived reality, you start to repeat these things.  Soon memories can become normal and natural actions.  You can become these things.

The memories that you don’t pay attention to locks your identity into place.  It takes work to hold down painful memories.  It takes work to not pay attention to memories.  As I was thinking through this, I realized that painful memories prevent us from moving on.  Choosing to avoid dealing with it – still takes energy.  It drains you.  In fact, you can get locked into just not giving painful memories attention that you don’t move on.  It’s definitely an identity status to not develop identity.

They will come up.  You’ll grow tired one day or will be forced to face the truth of the painful memories.  It might not be a direct interaction with it, but know that painful memories exert a powerful force on your identity.  Knowing it helps though.  Sometimes you just need help.


6 thoughts on “Painful Memories

  1. Lem
    Greg Boyd’s book “Seeing is believing” provides some sound help in dealing with painful memories. They can indeed be crippling and a weight to the soul but there is hope!

  2. I have a book by Gary Zukav, I forget the name offhand I just blogged about it a couple days ago, however he talks about the emotions connected to the memories and how they’re triggered and when we react to things as well. Which seems similar to what you’re talking about here.

    Some memories are suppressed it’s a self protective mechanism however we’re still reaction from old patterns. It’s all very interesting. 🙂 Nice to meet you.

      1. It’s called “The Heart of the Soul” and it’s really a form of cognitive therapy and going back and seeing our different patterns and how and why we relate to things here and now so we can process our emotions better. I have not done any teaching on it specifically and I’ve been using it for myself so I’ve only written a few blog posts about it. I love it though… it’s excellent.

      2. I will take a look at your blog and try to find those posts. Thanks for letting me know about it.

        What are your thoughts on how we are all emotionally connected? Can you give me some words on that?

  3. Nope. 🙂 I can’t give you any words exactly on that, it’s just something it seems I feel depending on the person and the level of connection I have to them. Maybe someone else would be able to explain it better than I could. It’s part of intuition and sensing someone else.

    It’s like, to me… uhm… if you had been by my blog last year you would have seen me pretty angry at a girl I worked with who was awful to be around. When she’d come to work, the whole room changed, it felt heavy and disgusting. It was “her” … my co-worker and I once I told her we’d be like Ooooh that feels awful. LOL 🙂 It’s just something that’s sensed. I don’t know about answering your question specifically and I don’t want to be misleading.

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